Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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