I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
