I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
