what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
