I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
