Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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