i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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