Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
