Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
