Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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