I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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