Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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