Apparently you make a good broom.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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