Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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