he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
