i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
