I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
