Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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