So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
