you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
