ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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