weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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