Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My sheets look like a crime scene.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
