The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
