3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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