just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
