told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
