we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
where are you?
Hypothermia
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
