I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
