I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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