i already hear my dad disowning me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
