Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
