She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
