you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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