How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ladies don't puke and tell
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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