Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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