3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
