You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
