im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
