i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
