then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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