it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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