whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
