I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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