Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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