You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
