I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We had sex on a dog bed..
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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