I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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