I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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