well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
