me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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