Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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