In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
