and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
