bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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