Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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