I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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