i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
