Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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