So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
